Sign, sign, everywhere a sign

From the Newport Daily News comes, via a great big notice taking up most of page A2, a public hearing on a zoning ordinance amendment dealing with signs. The public hearing will take place on Wednesday, April 8, at 6:30 p.m. in the Council Chambers on the 2nd floor of City Hall. You can find the codified ordinances of Newport online here, and the section where the changes will be made are in Title 17, ZONING, within which can be found Chapter 17.76, SIGNS. As near as I can make out from the notice, the following changes will be discussed:

1) Add an opening paragraph to the "Intent" section of Chapter 17.76 to include four bullet points explaining why signs need to be regulated.

2) Add the phrase "to promote community aesthetics and public safety" to paragraph D of the "Intent" section.

3) Add definitions in the "Usages" section for A-frame sign, awning, business frontage, banner sign, directory sign, and incidental business sign.

4) Replace the word "license" with the word "permit" throughout Chapter 17.76, and change "director of public works" to "director of planning, zoning, development and inspections" in the "Applications" section.

5) Raise the price of a sign license permit from a graduated fee based on the sign's square footage to a flat $35 per sign fee "plus an additional $25.00 is Historic District review is required."

6) In the section on removing unlawful signs, a paragraph is added noting that signs installed on public property or right-of-way "shall be forfeited to the public and subject to confiscation by the City." Also, the city can charge the sign's owner for the cost of removing and disposing of the signs. This would presumably include political signage as well as signs of the "Newport Personals" variety.

7) Add "no parking, entrance, and loading only" to the list of permitted signs in the "Signs permitted in all areas" section, and add a paragraph on business internet address signs.

8) Streamline paragraph F in the "Signs prohibited in all areas" section, and amend paragraph M to allow businesses in certain zones to put up temporary signs between 8:00 a.m. and 11:00 p.m.

9) In the "Business signs" section, paragraph B is amended so that businesses can put up as many business signs as they want as long as they don't take up too much space.

10) In the "Off-premises advertising" section, a paragraph is added allowing directory signs to be put up in the Waterfront Business zone. Also, the paragraph on billboards is amended to prohibit enlarging billboards or adding flashing lights or LEDs to them.

11) Add a new section on "City Council authorization" that allows the City Council to authorize the placement of signs on public property.

12) Add a new section on "City Manager approval -- signs on public property" allowing the City Manager to approve placement of directional signage to private parking lots on public property.

So, if you've got strong views on the subject of signage regulations, be sure to be at City Hall on April 8 to let your voice be heard.

More trouble for Coaty

From the January 28, 2009 issue of the Newport Daily News comes word of more trouble for former 75th District Representative Steve Coaty. Earlier this month, the Supreme Court Disciplinary Board filed charges against Coaty alleging that he forged a former client's name on papers filed with the Department of Corrections, and also that he forged a former client's name on a settlement check, endorsing the check and depositing it in his client account.

Another former client, Debra A. Mack, claimed that her civil suit against the City of Newport was dismissed because Coaty failed to show up for a court hearing. The board has charged Coaty with incompetence, failure to "act with reasonable diligence," lack of communication with his client and filing baseless claims against his former client and her new attorney, Richard "Mike" Fisher.

Debra Mack's legal odyssey began in May 2002 when she tripped and fell on a Newport sidewalk. She hired an attorney to sue the city, but he turned the case over to a partner (none other than District 73 Representative J. Russell Jackson), who in turn referred her to Coaty. The board alleges that Coaty failed for several months to produce Mack's medical records, and when the city's attorney filed a motion to dismiss the suit, it was granted on June 2, 2008 when then-Representative Coaty failed to show up for the scheduled hearing. Coaty never informed Mack that the case had been dismissed; Fisher happened to be in the courtroom that day, and since he was a family friend he told her. When Mack contacted Coaty, he promised to get the dismissal overturned and the case brought to court in July, but he never did.

Mack finally got fed up and hired Fisher to represent her. He requested that Coaty turn over his case files on Mack, but he never did. Instead, he sued Mack and Fisher on September 17. Mack then went to the Newport Daily News and told them what had happened, and two weeks before the election the paper ran a story on Mack's troubles with Coaty. On election day, Coaty lost his re-election race to Democratic challenger Peter F. Martin by 2823 votes to 2336.

As the NDN notes, Coaty's victory in the December 2007 special election "quickly became a rallying point for House Republicans, who felt Coaty's victory in a Democratic district signaled a turn of the political tide for Republicans in the state." Their hopes were dashed on November 4, 2008 when Coaty lost his seat, along with fellow Republicans Bruce Long of Middletown, William McManus of Lincoln, and Nicholas Gorham of Coventry. The Republicans also lost control of open seats in Districts 28, 41, 66, and 70.

Did Debra Mack's story cost Coaty his seat? Coaty's own lawyer, Christopher Gontarz, seems to think so. When he heard the NDN was running this story, he contacted them and said, "A Welsh politician, Nye Bevan, once said 'Politics is a blood sport.' It's certainly true in Rhode Island and it's especially true on Aquidneck Island." Is Coaty being targeted by the state's Democrats, or is Gontarz just being a WATB?

Peter Martin for the win!

Yeah, so I'm a little late with the news.* So sue me.

Per the Rhode Island Board of Elections, the final results were:

Peter Martin - 2823 (54.7%)
Steve Coaty - 2336 (45.3%)

And the precinct breakdown was as follows:

2108 - Martin 313, Coaty 256
2109 - Martin 385, Coaty 410
2110 - Martin 422, Coaty 306
2111 - Martin 351, Coaty 317
2112 - Martin 449, Coaty 264
2113 - Martin 421, Coaty 378

As Prince Edmund Plantagenet might aptly say, "At last, a chance for some real power!"

For those of you interested in helping Peter celebrate his victory, you can join him at the Hibernian Hall at 2 Wellington Avenue from 4 to 8 P.M. on Sunday, November 16.

*In my defense, I was busy helping Barack Obama turn back the McCain onslaught in Pennsylvania, and you don't recover quickly from that sort of thing.

Daily News Editorial Board Meeting

If you're as gosh-darned excited about the presidential debates as I am (but, honestly, who could possibly be more excited about them than me?), then you'll find yourself wishing you could see a debate between our local candidates, especially between Peter Martin and Steve Coaty here in the Fightin' 75th.

Well, too bad. Ain't gonna happen.

The best we can manage is watching the editorial board of the Newport Daily News meeting with the candidates on Cox Channel 18. Yeah, it's just not the same. Not even close. Still, you go on the air with the candidate forum you have, not the candidate forum you wish you had. They'll be broadcasting their meetings with candidates for the RI House O' Representatives at 7:00 PM on the evening of Wednesday, October 22. There are four competitive local races, so if they go through them by the numbers, the candidates for the 75th ought to be coming on around 9:30 PM.

Judging by the number of yard signs for Peter I've seen around town lately, there is no doubt in my mind he would have kicked my ass on September 9. So, watching this thing on television is probably the closest I'll ever come to being grilled by Sheila Mullowney and company.

Life is just full of disappointments.

Live From Thompson Middle School

Rain was pouring down as I walked the hundred feet from my house to Thompson Middle School to see the candidates forum sponsored by the Newport County chapter of the NAACP. The forum was held in the school cafeteria, where a row of three tables had been set up facing 150 folding chairs. Peter Martin got up and said hi, and handed me a campaign button. He also greeted Mary Coaty, who was three seats down on my left. She was soon joined by Steve Coaty, who also greeted me and gave me one of his business cards. While the attendees were coming in and seating themselves, US Senate candidate Christopher Young was setting up a video camera to record his performance.

There were about fifty people present, half of them candidates and their spouses. There were a total of eighteen candidates running for ten seats, and only two hours for all of them, so there wasn't a lot of information from any individual candidate. The program started at four minutes after seven, when political action chair Josephine Brown introduced the event's moderator, Bud Cicilline.

First up were the candidates running for the US Senate and the US House of Representatives 1st District. The incumbents, Jack Reed (D) and Patrick Kennedy (D), were too busy actually doing their jobs in DC to attend (Reed was probably decompressing from his trip to the Middle East with Barack Obama), so they both sent notes saying they couldn't make it. Seated at the table were Reed's Democratic primary opponent Christopher Young, and his Republican general election opponent Bob Tingle. Tingle introduced himself first and mentioned that he wanted to drill, drill, drill for more oil, and also wanted to seal America's borders (not evidently being aware that in theory, America's borders are already sealed). Young was next, taking the opportunity to bash Reed for not coming to the forum, thereby incurring Cicilline's displeasure. Next came Patrick Kennedy's Republican opponent, Jonathan Scott, who stated that his big issues were energy and health care. Finally came Kennedy's independent opponent, Kenneth Capalbo, who spent his introductory period going on about the USS Liberty incident from 1967. I should probably go into some detail about the three questions that were posed to these candidates, and their answers to them, but since none of them is going to come close to beating Reed or Kennedy, I'll settle for just summarizing them thusly: Scott and Tingle are standard conservatives, Young is a standard liberal, and Capalbo is a standard nut. The people running the forum must have agreed with me, because they cut the federal candidates forum short and switched over to the RI Senate candidates at 7:38.

This stage of the forum included seven candidates up for three seats. There were the 11th district candidates, incumbent Democrat Chuck Levesque, his Republican challenger Chris Ottiano, and independent challenger John Vitkevich. In their opening remarks, Levesque talked about disunity, Ottiano talked about state budget mismanagement and the need for budget cuts, and Vitkevich talked about how Aquidneck Island gets left behind in a state dominated by Providence. When asked what their first priority was, Levesque said it was health insurance, Ottiano said it was lowering taxes (duh!), and Vitkevich said it was alternative energy. When asked about getting better transportation to the Aquidneck Corporate Park, Levesque talked about the need to expand the rail network, Ottiano said that RIPTA needed to be redesigned, and Vitkevich said that there did indeed need to be better public transportation to the Aquidneck Corporate Park. When asked about how to help people who've suffered from cuts in services, Levesque speechified, Ottiano basically said "tough luck for them", and Vitkevich managed not to say anything.

The 12th District candidates were, incumbent Republican June Gibbs and her Democratic challenger Louis DiPalma. Gibbs noted that as a retiree she could devote her full attention to the state senate and said that she was working for change (which, in a General Assembly dominated by Democrats, presumably means more Republicans). DiPalma cited his position as a technical director at Raytheon and his two terms in the Middletown Town Council as proof that he knew how to Get Things Done. When asked what their first priority was, Gibbs cited energy costs and the need to reorganize state departments. She also mentioned the Medicaid Global Waiver reform, but didn't have time to talk about it. DiPalma stressed the need for fiscal responsibility. When asked about Aquidneck Corporate Park, both candidates agreed on the need to expand public transportation. When asked about the victims of service cuts, Gibbs said they would have to "work out what's going to work", while DiPalma managed not to say anything.

Finally, the 13th district candidates were Democratic incumbent and Senate Majority Leader Teresa Paiva-Weed and her Republican challenger Donna Perry. Paiva-Weed described herself as the voice of Newport and Jamestown in Providence, and cited the new Newport campus of CCRI as an important accomplishment. Perry described herself as a Jamestown resident and radio news reporter who was making her first run for public office. When asked what their first priority was, Paiva-Weed mentioned completing property tax reform, while Perry talked about targeting illegal immigrants and criticized Paiva-Weed for opposing Governor Carcieri's crackdown. Concerning Aquidneck Corporate Park, Paiva-Weed noted that her law firm had its offices there and that public transportation needed to upgraded across the state, and also responded to Perry's criticism from the first question. Perry responded to Paiva-Weed's response before Cicilline got her back on topic, at which point she stated that Aquidneck Island was ill-served by RIPTA. Concerning the victims of service cuts, Paiva-Weed quoted statistics and legislative details, while Perry echoed Ottiano's "tough luck" sentiments, and added that illegal immigrants shouldn't be allowed to receive government services.

Finally, at 8:26 the third panel, RI House of Representatives candidates, took the stage. These included Democratic incumbent Raymond Gallison of the 69th district (though his Republican challenger William Grapentine didn't show), Democratic incumbent "Landslide" Amy Rice of the 72nd district (whose Republican challenger Daniel Patrick Reilly also didn't show), Democratic incumbent J. Russell Jackson of the 73rd district (who is running unopposed, but classily chose to participate anyway), Republican incumbent Bruce Long of the 74th district and his Democratic challenger Deborah Ruggiero, and Republican incumbent Steve Coaty of the fightin' 75th district and his Democratic challenger Peter Martin.

First question for the candidates was, "Do you support term limits for state legislators?" Everybody answered no and pointed out that the voters had a chance every two years to limit a legislator's term. Jackson noted being a state legislator was a part-time job, and that it took a while to learn the ropes. Second question for the candidates was, "Do you support the Governor's veto of the Renewable Energy Bill?" All the candidates said no, except for Coaty, who said he didn't like the bill's energy contracts, then switched to talking about mass transit. Rice called Carcieri's veto unbelievable. Peter mentioned the idea of using the Sakonnet River Bridge to generate tidal energy. The final question was how to bring more bilingual and minority teachers to local schools. Coaty ignored the question and talked about school choice instead, Peter said the schools should be encouraging multilingualism, Rice, Long and Ruggiero all said the state needs to do more to attract bilingual and minority teachers, Jackson said the state needed to expand Paul Crowley's vocational school program, and Gallison said that when minority students had better educational opportunities they would provide the state with more teachers.

That marked the end of the forum. As the attendees began leaving, Paiva-Weed stopped me to say that she was sorry I dropped out of the race, and that more people needed to get involved in politics. Peter introduced me to another one of his supporters, none other than my fellow Rhode Island's Twelfth contributor Anthony Spiratos. This was something of a surprise, since I had been under the impression that Anthony was a Republican. He explained that he used to be, but that Governor Carcieri had convinced him to leave the GOP and become an independent. (Anthony, this is just the sort of thing blogs were invented for. Details! I want details!) I said goodbye to Peter and Anthony, and made my way back out into the rainy night.

(This post is cross-posted to Rhode Island's Twelfth.)

Meet the Candidates

From the July 23 Newport Daily News come the following two items:

Firstly, the local chapter of the NAACP will be sponsoring a candidate forum at 7 PM this evening at Thompson Middle School. The group has invited candidates for US Senate, US House o' Representatives, and the General Assembly (including, of course, Peter and Steve here in District 75). Candidates will be fielding questions from attendees. For info call 847-5570.

Secondly, a shadowy group called the Newport Democratic City Committee held a meeting sometime in the recent past, in which they (surprise, surprise) endorsed all the Democratic candidates (including, of course, Peter here in District 75). They also announced an upcoming Meet the Candidates Rally scheduled for September 20 at the Elks Lodge at the corner of Pelham Street and Bellevue Avenue. For info call 864-3535.

The Hits Just Keep On Coming

Even though my run for the General Assembly folded a week ago, word has apparently been slow to reach the various special interest groups. Today saw the arrival of a big manila envelope with a questionnaire from the Progressive Leadership Fund, "a political action coalition made up of the election arms of Rhode Island's most progressive organizations." The members of the PLF include the American Association of University Professors, the National Organization for Women (which already sent me a questionnaire), the United Auto Workers, the United Nurses and Allied Professionals, the Sierra Club, and the National Education Association. The PLF questionnaire is 35 questions long, covering such topics as civil rights, health care, the environment, education, and taxes. (It turns out I'm not alone in wanting to reduce Rhode Island's sales tax to 5%.)

Tuesday saw the arrival of another questionnaire, this one from the RI Right to Life Committee. In glancing over it, I was surprised to find out that the rite2lifers not only oppose abortion and stem cell research, but also universal health care (which they refer to, in standard wingnut parlance, as "health care rationing").

Memo to conservatives everywhere: we already have rationed health care. It's rationed according to who can afford it. What has the wingnuts outraged is the thought that they might have to wait in line with us proles for their health care on a first-come-first-served basis, instead of being able to use their money as a magic wand.

What specifically have the rite2lifers got againt universal health care? Well, it turns out that "rationing" health care could lead to lack of treatment which equals involuntary euthanasia. So, to recap: if someone dies from lack of treatment because they can't afford it, that's perfectly acceptable; but if someone dies from lack of treatment because they've been put in the back of a queue, that's the same as involuntary euthanasia and thus unacceptable. This is so utterly twisted that I can only gasp in wonder. In other words, typical conservative thinking.

Here's a little questionnaire of my own for you to take.
1. Conservatism is
A. Nonsensical.
B. Stupid.
C. Insane.
D. Just plain evil.

(The answer of course is E. All of the above.)

Anyway, final item in today's mailbag is a catalog from a company that makes campaign materials: buttons, lawn signs, door hangers, bumper stickers, and much more. It turns out special interest groups aren't the only people who peruse the candidate listings on the Secretary of State's website.

UPDATE: Saturday brings another catalog, and a questionnaire from REPPAC, Real Equality and Progress for Rhode Island, a new progressive PAC founded by Jennifer Lawless, Jim Langevin's 2006 primary challenger. Given Langevin's recent vote for the Protect AT&T Act, it's a shame she isn't running against him this year.

Another One Bites the Dust

Unfortunately, I wasn't able to get the required fifty signatures on my Nomination Papers, so my campaign for the General Assembly has come to a premature close. There will be no primary on September 9, and it's now up to Peter Martin to unseat Steve Coaty.

I'll continue to cover the race in this blog, but from a position on the sidelines (or as a volunteer with Peter's campaign). The Rhode Island blogosphere will have to survive without reading my response to Planned Parenthood's questionnaire or learning my positions on alternative energy or liquified natural gas terminals, and my proposals to establish a state-run health care service and establish a ban on political robocalls will remain unproposed.

To my handful of readers, especially Nomi Hurwitz, thanks for your encouragement. To the people who signed my Nomination Papers (if any of you are reading this), thanks for your support.

The Moderate Party

The RI chapter of NOW isn't the only group whose attention my run has attracted. I recently got a letter from the Moderate Party of Rhode Island, which was created last year by a Barrington business owner named Ken Block. Taken as a whole, Block's positions -- term limits for state legislators, a two-year term limit for the Speaker of the House and President of the Senate, stringent ethics rules, and general lowering of taxes and spending -- are actually a reprise of old-fashioned limited-government conservatism.

Block has a point when he states that this is a position that is no longer favored by either major party. The Republicans used to believe in limited government, or said they did, but since the Newt Gingrich radicals have seized control of the national GOP, that party is now more closely associated with intrusive government and untrammeled executive power. The Rhode Island GOP now finds itself tainted by its association with the national party's disastrous policies, and small-government conservatives now have nowhere to go but the Libertarian Party, which suffers from its own form of ideological extremism.

Ken Block's way is not my way. I'm not a moderate, as I think my policy positions make clear. I do, however, recognize the inherent danger of having a government dominated by one political party. If Ken Block can build his Moderate Party into a political force capable of providing a reasonable alternative to the Democrats, then more power to him. So to speak.

Questionnaire from RI NOW

Evidently, the Rhode Island chapter of the National Organization for Women is keeping an eye on General Assembly elections, because their political action committee sent me a questionnaire. Here is a list of the questions they asked, and the answers I provided. I'll skip part A, which covers general information.

B. Reproductive health
B1. Do you think comprehensive sex education should be taught in public schools?
Yes. None of that abstinence-only nonsense.
B2. Do you support public funding for abortion for low-income women?
Yes. Especially as part of a national health-care system.
B3. Current RI law requires minors seeking abortions to notify a parent or get permission from a judge. Do you favor repealing this law?
Yes.
B4. Do you support limitations on a woman's access to abortion?
No.
B5. During the last several legislative sessions, a "24 Hour Waiting Bill" was introduced which would increase informed consent requirements for abortion services, require multiple trips to the doctor's office to fulfill the waiting requirement, require rigorous reporting by doctors, grant rights to "fathers" and "grandparents", and require disclosure regarding who would be performing the abortion procedure. Do you/would you oppose such legislation?
Yes.

Part C: Violence against women
C1. Do you support funding services for women who are victims of domestic violence, as well as for children who witness domestic violence?
Yes.
C2. Do you support comprehensive legislation to address the issue of human trafficking in Rhode Island, including funding for victim services?
Yes.

D: Constitutional equality
D1. Do you support adding an Equal Rights Amendment to the state and U.S. Constitution?
Yes.

E: Lesbian, gay, bisexual , and transgendered (LGBT) rights
E1. Do you support legal marriage for same sex couples?
Yes.
E2. Do you support some other form of legal recognition for same sex couples, such as civil unions?
Yes. Civil unions would be better than nothing, but I would prefer full marriage equality.
E3. Do you support a constitutional amendment to ban same sex marriage?
No.

F: Economic equality
F1. The Woman's Fund of Rhode Island published a report regarding the status of women and girls in Rhode Island. In it, they state that "Part Time work, occupational segregation, and the wage gap mean that women at all educational levels are twice as likely to be poor as men." Do you believe there is a role for public policy to play in addressing this issue?
Yes.
F2. Do you support affirmative action?
Yes.

G: Racial justice
G1. During this passt legislative session, many anti-immigration bills were introduced at the State House that would impact women and children. What is your position on the issure regarding immigration in our state?
I oppose placing further legal disabilities on immigrants, who already face too many disabilities in our current legal and social climate. I favor granting a path to citizenship to all illegal immigrants.

H. Leadership
H1. What leadership have you taken on issues that impact women, including but not limited to the issues addressed in this questionnaire?
Sadly, as a private citizen I have had little opportunity to take a leadership role in any issues, other than the occasional letter to the editor.
H2. If elected, on what issues affecting women would you be willing to take a leadership role?
I feel very strongly that the current demonization of immigrants is unhealthy and anti-democratic, and I will do everything in my power to oppose it.
H3. Do you have any additional comments regarding your positions on issues that impact women and girls in Rhode Island?
Anything that endangers the dignity and well-being of any person is a threat to all of us. Women are one of the groups who have traditionally suffered discrimination in our society, and are at particular risk from those who seek to roll back the progress that has been made in gaining equality for everybody. I intend to help protect those gains, and I intend to continue the effort to advance our society toward full equality for everyone.

How to Run For Office

The first step to running for office is deciding to run for office. This is probably the biggest, most difficult step in the process. The idea has grown up in the last fifty or sixty years that the government is a separate entity from the people being governed. Back in 1944, a Canadian politician even compared the government to cats and the governed to mice. "Why" he asked rhetorically, "do the mice keep voting for cats to govern them?"

This idea is not only wrong, it's dangerously wrong. The traditional American view has always been that government is not only "of the people", it's also "by the people". We ARE our government. The more people forget this, the easier it is to alienate people from the government, to convince them that government is some sort of ruling elite that's been imposed upon them from outside. When you decide to run for office, you reject the idea that government is an alien ruling class, and embrace the idea that WE are the government.

So, having decided to run for office, the next step is to show up at the local Board of Canvassers and let them know that you're running for office. This is done by filling out a Declaration of Candidate form. There's a three day period when you can do this -- this year it was June 23 to 25.

When you declare your candidacy, the Board of Canvassers hands you a bunch of forms that have to be filed with the Rhode Island Board of Elections in Providence. First is the Notice of Organization, which informs the Board who your campaign treasurer is. Every campaign is required to have a treasurer, though in Rhode Island the candidate is allowed to be his own treasurer. It's the campaign treasurer's job to keep track of all the money collected and spent by the campaign. The treasurer also has to send in periodic reports on "campaign activity" (ie money received and spent).

Once you've declared yourself a candidate, in due course the Board of Canvassers provides you with your Nomination Papers. This is basically a petition, and you have to get a certain number of signatures from registered voters by a certain date. This year, the candidates get their Nomination Papers on July 1, and they have until 4:00 PM on Friday, July 11 to turn them in. (In my case, running for the state House of Representatives, I have to get 50 signatures from people living in District 75.) It's always a good idea to get extra signatures, ideally twice the required minimum, just in case some of them aren't valid.

If you can get enough signatures, then you qualify for a place on the ballot. At this point, you start to do the actual "campaigning" part of the campaign: persuading people to vote for you by kissing hands and shaking babies. The most basic form of campaigning is knocking on doors, saying "Hi" to the people who answer, and asking them to vote for you. All other forms of campaigning -- handing out flyers, telephoning people, staging rallies, participating in debates -- are variations on this basic theme. They're all different ways of persuading people to vote for you.

If there's more than one person from your party running for the same office, you all go head-to-head with each other in a primary election. In my case, since Peter Martin is also running as a Democrat, the two of us will be running against each other until Primary Election Day, Tuesday, September 9, when the Democrats and unaffiliated voters of the 75th get to choose between us. The only other person running for the seat is the incumbent, Steve Coaty, a Republican. Since he's the only Republican in the race, he doesn't have to worry about a primary election. He only has to get ready for General Election Day, Tuesday, November 4, when the voters of the 75th get to choose between him and whoever wins the primary between Peter and me.

After the election is over, you have to file a final post-election set of reports on "campaign activity", and you also file a form dissolving your campaign. And of course, if you win the election, you become part of the government. But that's a whole different set of worries.

Fair Warning

The blog is a hungry beast. It has an insatiable need for new posts. That being the case, any email sent to me in my capacity as a political candidate (or, for that matter, as a political blogger) is fair game, and I hereby reserve the right to quote it in full on this blog, and, if necessary, mock it cruelly.

You have been warned.

Running in District 75

Take a map of Newport and draw a line across it.

Start the line on Route 138 as it comes east across the Pell Bridge. Follow Route 138 until it reaches the tracks of the Newport & Old Colony Railroad, then turn south along the tracks. Follow them until they reach America's Cup Avenue, then cut across to Fairwell Street. Follow Fairwell south until it hits Marlborough Street, then go east to Broadway and follow it north. Turn east onto Calvert Street, then north onto Wesley Street, then east onto Cranston Avenue, then north again onto Kay Street. From Kay follow Rhode Island Avenue south until you reach Champlin Street, then go east to Eustis Avenue, then north to Ellery road, then east until you reach Middletown.

Everything south of the line you've just drawn is the 75th Representative District.

The current 75th District was created in 2002 when the Rhode Island House of Representatives was reduced from 100 seats to 75. Paul W. Crowley, a Democrat, held the seat from its creation until he succumbed to cancer on September 25, 2007. In a special election held on December 18, the seat was won by Republican Steve Coaty. Now Coaty has to defend the seat against all comers, including me.

Who am I? Thomas Kalinowski, 45 years old, married with no children. I've lived in Newport for eleven years, and I currently work at the front desk at a local hotel. If you see me walking down the street, I'll probably be accompanied by my two basenji dogs, Kleopatra and Louis. They're friendly dogs who like meeting new people, so don't be afraid to say hello and pet them. They'll also be happy to share any food you may be carrying (whether you want them to or not).

Why am I running? Well, in any political race, somebody has to run to the left of everyone else, and in this race that somebody will be me. If elected, I promise to raise your taxes, grant amnesty to the thousands of illegal immigrants living in Rhode Island, and legalize gay marriage. Or at least, I'll be advocating for those things, since it's unlikely that the other 74 Representatives, 38 Senators, and Governor will go along with any of them. But I'll be doing my best to push my radical agenda, and of course I'll also be representing the interests of my constituents (ie bringing home as much pork as possible).

So, if you'd like to see an unapologetic liberal represent you in the General Assembly, go ahead and vote for me, and we'll both see what happens.